Lesson of Katrina and Sandy: Your god Bleeds

By Mack Rights

I’ve been wanting to write this for a while, but I didn’t want to seem too insensitive.  Quit laughing regular readers.  I’m serious.

It’s been a month since hurricane Sandy wiped out parts of New York City and New Jersey, and still, over 800 apartment buildings in New York City are without power.  Who knows what else they lack?  In New Jersey, displaced residents are stuck in FEMA camps that resemble prison camps.  Anytime they try to contact the media to tell them what Obama’s government is doing to them, the power mysteriously gets shut down.  They can see their breath as they huddle in sleeping bags and plastic bags behind armed guards with Blackhawk helicopters patrolling overhead.  Luckily, the fence that surrounds them is barbed wire and they have IDs that must be checked before they enter the portapotties in the cold.  They didn’t need ID to vote, but they need one to go to the bathroom.  This is Obama’s America.

During Hurricane Katrina, America discovered that in New Orleans, where the most famous drink is called a Hurricane (made of expensive red cool-aid and some liquor), the Democrats that run that city are full-blown incompetents.  President George W. Bush gave them the money years before the hurricane to fix the levees, but Mayor Nagin stuffed the holes with garbage and covered them with paper mache.  Then, instead of using the school buses to evacuate the inner cities, which might have meant doing overtime battle with the bus-drivers’ union, he let the busses drown and become useless.

More importantly though, America discovered that inside the inner city of New Orleans, the part the tourist bureaus advise all tourists to avoid out of self-preservation, there were tens of thousands of residents who had become completely crippled by the welfare state to the point that they were unable to get themselves out of the inner city, even though their lives might have depended upon it.  They sat there waiting for the government to help them, but help was weeks away.

The welfare state of affairs that the Democrats have cursed parts of this country with has taken away much of America’s ability to survive.  Many might be religious, but they’ve been taught to have faith in government.  They prove this faith with their religiously obedient votes for Democrats.  And when Hurricane Katrina came, their god of government failed them.  And of course it was all George W. Bush’s fault because he hates black people- at least that’s what the liberal media ran with.

This year though, the hurricane turned up the coast and hit an unprepared North East.  This isn’t the first time or the worst time that New York City had been struck, but it is in the minds of many who weren’t around in 1938.  The 1930s was another decade with strange weather, drought and above average temperatures- it was so bad, there was a Great Depression in fact.  But listening to the liberal pagans spouting off about how the world’s going to end due to global warming (even though global warming ended in 1996), you’d think this is the worst weather the US has ever experienced.  But they say, “This was the most expensive storm in history.”  Of course it was.  The values of property have increased dramatically, and the storm hit an area where there are many structures.

In other words, the liberals are going to blame the storm and the changing weather patterns- a natural phenomenon- on man-made global warming or climate change, whatever they call it nowadays.  Their main god Gaia is mad that we middle Americans drive gas guzzlers instead of subjecting ourselves to public transportation, and as a result, we will have to repent by subjecting ourselves to higher carbon taxes on energy.

Get it?  Since Gaia called up her step sister the goddess of wind on the water and said send a hurricane at those evil capitalists up in upstate New York, we have to repent by paying extra taxes to the same gods of government who are subjecting the victims of this hurricane to a tortured existence in FEMA camps.

“But what about the hot summers?” – the doubters ask.  Whenever the summers are hot, there coincidentally seems to be a large number of giant solar flares.  Since coincidence is the explanation of a lazy mind, not many liberals with their hoity-toitee educations employ Occam’s razor to come to the simplest answer- especially the pagan liberals that would benefit financially from the taxation of others.  Instead, they have to come up with some government-funded pseudoscience filled with massive methodology errors and statistical manipulations that we plebiscites couldn’t in a million years begin to understand since our brains aren’t as developed as theirs.

By the way, solar flares are when the sun, or as liberals call it, the angry god of burning sky, shoots off huge amounts of energy that warms our earth and other planets as well.  Sorry to tell you liberals, the angry god of burning sky doesn’t care a wit about whether I’m burning too much fossil fuel in my big old truck.

In any case, that’s what is coming to America.  Many of the liberal victims of Hurricane Sandy will call for more taxation and regulation to appease their gods of inconvenient weather, and this taxation and regulation will inevitably hurt much more those that don’t live on the coast.  In the meantime, they will never think to themselves that, maybe if they actually believe that the earth is warming and that the seas are rising, they should move away from the rising seas.  Instead, they’ll call for the financial punishment of those that don’t live by the sea.  I say no thank you.  I don’t believe in your pagan gods, and I don’t want anything to do with your pagan ways.

By the way, who doesn’t love the news stories about NYC’s mayor comrade Bloomberg?  What a piece of work this guy is.  First thing he does is take food trucks from those without homes, food and electricity and sets them up for the NY marathon.  Then, he takes generators away from the victims so that the liberal media members can have heat in their media tents while they cover the marathon.  He and the liberal Obama-loving NJ governor go to extreme lengths to make sure there are gas shortages by preventing the gas to be delivered by air.  They send away non-unionized crews that came up from the south to help.  Then Bloomberg outlaws food donations to homeless shelters that are feeding the victims because the city can’t regulate the nutritional value of donated food.  Starvation is a more acceptable to these Democrats than you getting some free bagel covered with fattening cream cheese- you starving-cold-Democrat-Party-voting sucker who just lost your home in a hurricane.

Look, I don’t mean to curse out those who’ve lost everything- just the system that they voted for and that wants to blame my driving habits for some hurricane.  This whole idea of man causing global warming is nonsense.  Every system tends towards equilibrium.  There will be periods of cooling followed by periods of warming.  That is what the world has experienced since the beginning of time.  Temperature will oscillate around an average to which humanity must adapt.  That’s the scoop.  Carbon Dioxide makes up about 0.039% of the atmosphere.  That’s not even four tenths of 1 percent.  Minor fluctuations, due to human existence, have no effect on the temperature of the earth.

“But, but, but, what about the consensus of scientists?” – the liberals whine.  Most of those scientists know jack about meteorology.  They study spiders, ants and rock slides- to what purpose, who cares?  The meteorologist is smart enough to know that he can’t predict the temperature with any accuracy of local environment two weeks ahead.  Where does the spider scientist get off thinking he knows what the average temperature of the earth will be fifty years from now?  Is his spider sense tingling?  Is he seeing spider messages in the intricate patterns of web weaving?

Imagine the doctor from Back to the Future and his graduate assistant Marty McSpider.

“Marty!  Marty!  This spider’s trying to tell me something.”

“Doc!  Doc!  It’s just a spider.  Where’s the bong?”

“Forget that.  Look at this.  Look at the asymmetrical symmetry of the symmetrical asymmetry in the web design.  It’s like a double negative, which means the spider’s trying to tell us something in the affirmative.  EXACTLY! The earth IS getting warmer.  Marty, how is it that a spider can figure this out, but the Republicans can’t?  Look here, it’s the fine print.  It says, ‘Raise your own taxes human, or we’ll rise up and make the earth warmer, signed the spider.’”

How do you argue with that, especially when the liberals find a bigger consensus?

“Tune in to Mystery-Bong-Hit-Science Theater tomorrow when we interview hardly renowned government-funded Rock-slideologist and former Sweat Hog Dr. Vinnie Barbarino: ‘What?…  When?…  Where?…  Of course da eart is getten wommer.  Look at da rocks.  Rocks is lazy.  If you ever had a pet rock, you know dat.  All it wants to do is sit around.  But rocks still slide, but they slidin’ slower den before.  Da eart’s getten hotter and dey don’t wanta sweat.  Dja ever see a rock sweat?  It’s like watchin’ a sumo wrestler do yoga.  Who wants to see dat?  Course da eart’s getting warmer.’”

And that’s the liberals’ consensus.  It’s about 1.21 gigawatts of nonsense.  Truth be told, that consensus of scientists is probably not even a consensus at all.  It totally neglects the fact that many, many actual weather-related scientists are able to blow holes the size of Texas in the global warming junk science.

So consider this.  There’s a consensus of Christian Men of the Cloth.  They assert that violating God’s Ten Commandments- or as liberals like to call them, God’s Talking Points- will get you a one-way ticket to a really, really hot environment called Hell.

“Thou Shalt have no other gods before me.”  That’s a big one, let me tell you.  Well, those on the left who keep telling me that I have to pay indulgences in the form of carbon taxes for my sins against their pagan dirt gods are the same people who fight tooth and nail to keep legal the right to sacrifice the unborn on the alter of their god who lusts for the blood of innocent babies.

Why did the hurricane hit New York City?  Maybe because over 40% of pregnancies in that city end in abortion.  Maybe because over 50% of black babies in that city die from abortion.  And what about gay marriage?  What Christian in their right mind was happy to see their governor use the New York City and Long Island Democrats to jam gay marriage down our throats without a true chance to defeat it democratically?  Did I miss something?  Did God say it was just fine for mere humans to take upon themselves the arrogant notion that they’re entitled to reinterpret the Word of God on behalf of those who define their identities by their sexual sins?

I’m not saying this is what caused the hurricane, but I do think it is a more believable reason than that I drive a big truck and that I’m raising the temperature of the earth in the process.

What about New Jersey?  Why did they get caught in the crossfire?  How about the show “Jersey Shore?”  This is not some Chamber of Commerce-produced business-seeking promotional video.  “Move your business to Jersey and bring your kids.  It’s a good idea.”  It’s actually one of the reasons the rest America regularly thanks God they don’t live in New Jersey.  “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” probably tell us all we need to know as well.  But at least Tony Soprano was honorable.  He wasn’t out there telling me to pay for his indulgences and to say his rosaries so he could get away with his sins.

Lord, I apologize for all this honesty, but I’m tired of being blamed for bad weather.  I might have grown up near Buffalo, but I’m not going to start believing false gods are trying to punish me because I burn fossil fuels.  And when others want to use the government to force me to worship these gods and make sacrifices to these gods, I will stand up and use the 1^st Amendment as my armor.  I don’t mean the right to free speech, expression and pornography, as a liberal would assume.  I mean the freedom from governmental influence on religion.  I’m not a pagan, and I refuse to be forced to pretend I respect these false gods.

Instead of taxing energy, why don’t you liberals call for excessive taxes on your daily tools of pomposity, like that fruity French-sounding grande cup of soy-caf-half-decaf-poofer-doodle coffee you drink every day.  Demand the tax dollars be converted into environmentally-friendly atmospheric fairy dust to be sprinkled down from the sky so that your mother earth can heal.  Pay for you own indulgences you dirt-worshiping tree-hugging druids.  Since I don’t make you pray to Jesus, quit trying to shame me into caring about how big a carbon footprint I leave on you goddess’ face.  I’m sympathetic to those who are in pain right now, I’m sorry about your circumstances, but I am not responsible for bad weather.  Sometimes bad things happen to bad people and to good people at the same time- it’s called life, and sometimes life sucks.  The reason that the situation continues to be horrendous though is that the government is run by Democrats- the same Democrats that the people of New Jersey and of New York City voted for.  These Democrats make up the false god of government, and guess what, liberals.  Your god bleeds.

Watch the video at this link and see how the false god of liberalism in Staten Island government looks down upon its subjects and smirks.  Notice how the national media doesn’t cover what’s going on down there, and consider how little information in updates you hear about Joplin, Missouri, the town wiped out by the tornado a while back.  The god of liberalism has failed, and I refuse to sit here and pretend I’m surprised.   I pray for my fellow Americans in New York City, Long Island and New Jersey, but I also pray that we don’t learn the wrong lessons.

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